


Where the Heart is

by thinlizzy2



Category: X-Factor (Comics), X-Force (Comics)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Hand Jobs, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2019-05-13 09:05:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14745899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thinlizzy2/pseuds/thinlizzy2
Summary: This... whatever this is, it's a bad idea to do it here.  They all live too closely to keep secrets and he's not ready to be caught like this. But there's also no way that Rictor's going back to his room to leave Shatterstar alone.  Not as long as 'Star wants him to stay.  His brain desperately grasps for a solution and then, miraculously, manages to come up with the perfect one."Hey, do you wanna get out of here?"It's through the act of running away that Rictor works out just where he wants to belong.





	Where the Heart is

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tangerine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tangerine/gifts).



> Written for Tangerine for Fandom 5K. 
> 
> Since you said that you like stories from the X-Force days, I've set this right after one of my favorite issues of that series. That was just when I began to realize how right these two are for each other. Thank you so much for the inspiration to visit with these boys again! I really hope you like the results.

Julio Richter turns onto his side, flipping his pillow over onto the cool side and hiking his blanket up over his shoulder. He bends and tangles his body, trying to get comfortable and knowing that it's impossible. The problem isn't the bed; X-Force's cots are basic but serviceable and he's slept in way rougher conditions than these. The problem is inside of him – a twisting, nauseating sensation that's sitting heavily in the bottom of his guts. He can try to tell himself that it's because he almost died earlier tonight, but he almost dies a hell of a lot and if he let that keep him awake then he'd never get any rest. No, Ric's problem is a lot simpler and infinitely more complicated than that. 

 

He's _jealous_. 

 

And yet it's even more than that. After all Rictor deals with jealousy almost as much as he shrugs off near-death experiences. It was the primary tone of his childhood, when the other kids got to go home to families that didn't have a mist of guilt and blood hanging over their heads and he has to admit that he still feels it now as Sam Guthrie grows with greater and greater confidence into the role of team leader. Hell, Rahne Sinclair had been on the television a couple of days earlier, beaming up at Alex Summers in a way that had made her feelings for him more than obvious, and Ric had felt the familiar ball of envy and absence taking shape inside of him. He'd still slept like a baby that night. 

 

But this combination of jealousy and fear and desire – this is something new and strange and absolutely terrifying. He wants and he is scared to want and he is absolutely petrified of the possibility of not getting what he so desperately longs for. And the only thing more frightening than that is the possibility that he might actually _be_ able to have it. 

 

Might be able to have _him_. 

 

Until last night, he'd been able to convince himself that he _did_ have Shatterstar, or at least he had him in every way that mattered. In every way that was possible. 'Star had been born and bred to fight for his life to amuse faceless masses of spectators; trust and camaraderie had never been part of his world before. That he had responded to Rictor's overtures of friendship with growing warmth and enthusiasm had seemed like a victory in and of itself. And then 'Star had begun reaching out to _him_ , asking him to spar instead of any the others or calling him over to watch an absolutely terrible made for TV movie. And Rictor had been able to tell himself that he was special to Shatterstar, that he occupied a special place in the other man's life, and he had managed to be content with that and to stop himself from wondering why that was so important. 

 

And then he'd watched that girl from the club - Stacy or Stecky or Stella, he couldn't even remember – effortlessly pull something out of Shatterstar that Rictor hadn't known was there to find. Desire, not for friendship or a sparring buddy or for someone to guide him through this strange and confusing world he'd been living in. No, this was desire for her hand sliding down his chest and belly, for her breasts pressed against him, for her crotch grinding against his thigh. Julio closed his eyes and swallowed hard. Without meaning to, without even knowing him, that girl from the club had managed to awaken a hunger in 'Star that Rictor had never even allowed himself to believe was possible. And now he could no longer deny how much he wanted all of that for himself. 

 

He can hear the murmuring voices downstairs – Bobby's liberation from the Reignfire personality a few hours before was a clear-cut victory and they don't get a lot of those. Rictor isn't so torn up about 'Star that he can’t be happy about the win. But events like this have a way of dividing his team into those who were in the original New Mutants and those who weren't. He can hear the voices from the kitchen: Sam, Bobby, and Dani; Tabitha seems to be included on the merits of dating Sam but he can only hear her sporadically, which isn't like her. He wonders if she misses Rusty and Skids as much as he does; he wonders if Jimmy ever still aches for his old teammates in the Hellions. He even wonders if anyone in that group huddled up downstairs wishes that Xi'an or Rahne or any number of those lost along the way were down there with them. 

 

They lose so many people, living like they do. He guesses that must be normal, to a certain extent. People grow up and change. But he still thinks that it's a different thing to lose track of a friend who moves to Europe or who gets married than it is to watch someone love you get their brains rewired or join up with your enemies or die because a virus was specially created to target people just like them. 

 

He knows Rahne doesn't miss him anymore. She's explicitly said it, and she's always been honest to a fault. He tore Genosha apart trying to find her and now she's replaced him with the Diet Pepsi of Summers brothers, a government pension and fucking _Val Cooper's_ vision of the future of mutantkind. And the truth is that he's not even all that angry at her about it. After all, if he was willing to let her go and let her stay gone, then maybe she's right to stay away. 

 

He imagines what it would be like if Shatterstar were the one who left, with the drastic changes in his mind, body and soul being broadcast daily on every TV channel in existence. And the thought is so unbearable that it forces him to his feet and propels him down the hallway to his friend's room before he even has a chance to consider the wisdom of that choice. It's impossible, really, to imagine 'Star slipping through his fingers the way Rahne did, because Ric wouldn't allow that to happen. He'd shake the whole fucking world off its axis before he let 'Star be taken and changed and disappeared into a place that Rictor couldn't reach. But ludicrous though it is, even the idea makes him move and once he's on his way to Shatterstar the thought of being near him is so appealing that there's no chance of Rictor stopping. 

 

'Star answers the door on the first knock; clearly he wasn't sleeping either. He's wearing just a pair of sweatpants; his hair is down and falling nearly to his waist. Despite his muscles and general size, there's something about the way he looks that seems vulnerable and for an insane moment Rictor just wants to hug him. "I just..." Rictor trails off, unable to think of what to say. _I got freaked out by the simultaneous realizations that you can both get turned on and leave me, and I couldn't cope?_ 'Star isn't human, but he's been around long enough to know that's a weird as fuck comment for one friend to make to another. "I just wondered if you were up." 

 

Shatterstar nods. "I'm glad to see you, Julio." And for some reason that's enough to make Ric's whole damn heart light up like a Christmas tree. Shatterstar steps back, allowing Rictor to enter. "I couldn't sleep." 

 

Rictor perches on the edge of 'Star's bed. "You thinking about Bobby?" 

 

"No." Shatterstar's brow creases. "I mean, it's a good thing that he's back but... no." He sits beside Rictor and somehow manages to suck all the air out of the room just by being close. "Do you think I should be?" 

 

And if that doesn't sum up their miserable failure as a team in just a few words, Rictor doesn't know what would. He shrugs. "I wasn't thinking about him either. I was thinking about you." That's a shit-ton of raw honesty that he hadn't meant to release into the world and he scrambles to cover it up. He searches for anything to say that doesn't sound outright pathetic, which means _I was missing you_ and _I just needed to see you_ are out of the question. In the end, he settles on "I wanted to know if you still wanted to talk about what happened at the club." He had promised 'Star, after all, that they could sort all of that out together, and if it was on his mind then maybe he isn't the only one. 

 

It turns out that he made a lucky guess. Shatterstar doesn't blush like a human. Instead of beginning at his face, a red flush starts from the center of his chest and then spreads towards his throat and down his torso. Rictor really shouldn’t find it adorable and yet he absolutely does. "I think... yes... maybe I do." Roctor pats his shoulder in what he hopes is a reassuring rather than a creepy manner. He thinks that he should at least be glad that 'Star isn't from Earth because he's pretty sure any human man would be just a little bit suspicious of this chick-flick moment. "Julio, I cannot understand why my body reacted the way that it did. I _know_ my body and its responses; I had to learn them in order to survive. But then I was dancing with Stecky and she had her hand on me, and... it was like there was someone else in my skin. My flesh was changing; my blood was moving around. My body got hard. I wanted to be touched and I didn't want her touching me and-" He stops short, obviously so confused that Rictor's heart aches for him. "Julio, is any of this normal?" 

 

So Rictor guesses her name was Stecky after all. It pisses him off way more than it should that 'Star had bothered to remember it. But it wouldn't help anything to get annoyed about that now. 'Star looks every bit as confused as Rictor himself remembered being when his own dick decided to get out of control in Sunday school or biology class or, as much as he's tried not to think about it for the last few years, in the showers after football practice. The idea of Shatterstar feeling sexual desire for the first time and being so perplexed by it somehow makes Rictor feel both aroused and protective. And if one adds to that to the already crappy mix of jealousy and fear then he's feeling far more things at once than he had ever imagined were possible. 

 

He shakes his head to clear it. "There really isn't any such thing as normal when it comes to sex, 'Star. But it sounds like your body was acting typically enough, for if you were a human. So... do you want to go over what she did to you?" Rictor can feel his own cheeks blazing red. Even to his own ears, he sounds ridiculous. If he were listening in, he would swear this was the part where he should break out the trauma dolls. _Okay, tough-as-nails intergalactic warrior – show me where the scary girl touched you._

 

A moment later, though, he would have killed for one of those dolls. Because, in its absence, 'Star simply uses what is already there. "It wasn't just the dancing; the dancing was fine. I wasn't expecting to do it, but once we started it was even enjoyable. But then she started, I guess... _scratching_ at me." And there is 'Star's hand, warm and square and strong, resting in the center of Rictor's chest like it belongs there. And then his nails bite through the thin fabric of Rictor's t-shirt and the sudden suggestion of pain makes him gasp out loud. Shatterstar, as single-minded as he always gets when pursuing the answer to some human mystery, presses on. "Next she sort of moved her hand around. Like this." His fingertips massage Rictor's skin, waking up nerves that automatically crave more. "And then down." Shatterstar's hand slides lower and Rictor knows he should stop it. He _has_ to stop it; he's already as hard as a pipe and has been from the very first touch. But the heat of Shatterstar's skin feels so good, even through his shirt, that Rictor needs just a second more and then one more, and then 'Star's hand is firmly cupping Rictor's crotch and nothing in the world could have stopped the groan that rips itself from Rictor's throat. "Yes", Shatterstar says, looking confused but not embarrassed. "Mine was like that too. Is it normal?" 

 

"Normal?" Rictor's voice is a croak. 

 

Shatterstar's fingers stroke him lightly through his shorts. He is exploring, Rictor thinks, the way he does with so many things about humankind that he doesn't understand. It feels good, so good, fucking way too good and he wonders if 'Star knows that. His friend's voice does sounds a little shaky when he next speaks. "Is it okay?" 

 

That's the most loaded question Rictor could have imagined at that moment, and for the life of him he can't think of an answer that makes any kind of sense. A burst of laughter floats up from downstairs and he feels a wave of panic until he realizes that there was no way they could know what's going on up there. They aren't laughing at him. Then he remembers his uncontained moan and it occurs to him that if he can hear them, they can hear him. This... whatever this is, it's a bad idea to do it here. They all live too closely to keep secrets and he's sure as shit not ready to be caught like this. 

 

But there's also no way that he's going back to his room to leave 'Star alone to ruminate over Whatsername. Not as long as 'Star wants him to stay. His brain desperately grasps for a solution and then, miraculously, manages to come up with the perfect one. "Hey, do you wanna get out of here?" 

 

It's lucky that Cable insists there be multiple ways out of any building X-Force uses as a base. Slipping out unnoticed is far easier than it would be otherwise, and they're in Rictor's car with the roof down, already merging into the sparse late-night highway traffic, before it occurs to Rictor that they never decided where to go. He glances nervously at 'Star, wondering if he has a plan, if it's okay to touch him, if he has _any_ idea what's going on in Rictor's head. Shatterstar gazes back at him, his eyes wide and guileless. "Are you hungry?" Rictor asks, looking for some kind of clue. "Or do you want to go somewhere for a drink?" 

 

Shatterstar shook his head. "I am neither hungry nor thirsty, Julio." And considering the fact that they're both still in their sleepwear that's probably a good thing. 

 

"So where do you want to go?" Rictor asks, like this was a perfectly ordinary drive, like this whole thing wasn't his idea, like he hadn't dragged his sexually confused best friend out for a moonlight outing in their fucking pajamas because he had been so desperate to be alone with him undisturbed. 

 

"I would like to continue what we were doing before", Shatterstar says. 

 

And Rictor's cock, which he had got somewhat under control in the dash from the bedroom to the car, is suddenly fully erect again. In fact, he's so hard it hurts, like his dick is trying to punish him for all the confusing signals he's been sending it tonight. He forces himself to ignore it. "You _would_?" 

 

Shatterstar nods. "If you are not already tired of the subject." 

 

"Ah." Rictor gets it just a moment too late. 'Star wants to continue the talking part, not the touching Rictor's penis part, and that shouldn't be as disappointing as it is. He takes deep breaths, willing his erection to go away. "No, it's cool. I've got nothing but time." He looks out the window and scans the exit signs whizzing past them. "I know where we can go." 

 

It's probably not all that safe to go to the river at night, but they're both trained fighters; Shatterstar is a living weapon and Rictor can make large chunks of the Earth shake themselves apart if he feels like it. So they can probably handle any passing prowlers. Rictor cuts the engine and the lights go out, and then there's just darkness and the quiet burbling of the water. He takes a moment to savor the quiet and the company and then he turns to his friend. "So. What are you thinking now?" 

 

Shatterstar gets out of the car and walks down to the river. He tips a toe in the water and then kneels down to splash some on his face. Rictor climbs out after him and wonders for a moment if he should suggest swimming. The idea is intoxicating - 'Star moving under the water with his long hair streaming behind him like seaweed, surfacing with droplets of water glistening on his torso. But then Shatterstar straightens up. "This is not like the club." 

 

"We're not exactly dressed for dancing", Rictor points out. The frown that flits across Shatterstar's features makes him regret those words almost immediately. "Actually, you know what? Never mind. You want to dance?" He turns the key and fiddles with the radio. Thankfully, he gets something with a decent beat almost immediately. "Let's dance." 

 

Another good song follows, and then another. Dancing with Shatterstar isn't anything like dancing with the girls he used to know in Mexico. 'Star doesn't know how to follow his lead or when to sway or move closer or flirt. But they settle pretty quickly into a style that works for them, and if it isn't perfect it's still the most damn fun he's had in a while. And more than that, it feels _right_ ; it feels right in a way that pretty much nothing else has lately and that's enough to make him pull 'Star back when his friend draws away at the start of a slow song. "It's okay", Rictor tells him. "We can dance to this too; it's easy. Just like this." 

 

Shatterstar is too big and tall for Rictor to held him in his arms the way he would have done with a girl so instead he opts to be held, settling his head comfortably into the space between 'Star's neck and shoulder, resting one hand on his chest and sliding the other onto his back to keep him close. HIs heart is hammering but the whole thing is just so damn good that once he works it out, it's worth the effort. 'Star seems unsure at first, but once Rictor helps him place his hands and there's nothing left to do but turn slowly in place, Rictor can actually feel the other man's muscles relaxing against him. And then it all becomes so obvious and natural that doesn't make any sense that they've never done anything like this before – held each other close and danced and touched. Rictor is dangerously close to saying as much when 'Star speaks up. 

 

"You aren't scratching me." 

 

Rictor blinks, then he gets it. "N-no. I'm not. Do you _want_ …?" 

 

He can feel 'Star shaking his head. "No. I mean, you aren't scratching me, but it's happening anyway." 

 

And all Rictor has to do is shift a bit in his arms, change the angle of his hips just a tiny fraction and then he can feel that Shatterstar is right. His cock is hard against Rictor's stomach, and Rictor can feel his own member growing erect yet again in response. He bites back a growl of frustration at the whole trajectory of this glorious, infuriating night and then he gently moves his hand – no nails, he doesn't want to invite any comparisons – towards Shatterstar's crotch. 

 

Oh God. He can feel his heat and his hardness through the thin layer of fabric and it's almost irresistible. He wants so much more – he wants to take it out and stroke it; he wants to tease it and taste it and watch 'Star's face as he makes him come for the first time. But then he feels 'Star shivering under his hand and he realizes how terrified his friend must be. "Is this okay?" He forces himself to take his hand away. "Are _you_ okay?" 

 

"What is _happening_ to me?" Rictor has never heard Shatterstar's voice sound quite so close to breaking. "What _am_ I?" 

 

And it's not only the fear in his voice that undoes Rictor; it's the sheer pointlessness of that fear. He may not understand everything about his own sexuality, though the truth is becoming clearer with every passing minute tonight. But he gets why it scares _him_. It's the combination of a religious Catholic upbringing, a childhood spent submerged in dangerous machismo, and the idea of giving a world that already hates and fears him more yet another sensitive place to strike at. But Shatterstar didn't grow up with human religion or human ideas about what a real man does and does not do. And living so far removed from human society means that he doesn't have to give a single solitary fuck what the world at large thinks of him. In fact, the only opinion Shatterstar cares about, as far as Rictor knows, is that of Julio Esteban Richter himself. Which means that he has the power to end 'Star's fear and he damn well should be doing that right this instant. 

 

So he does. He looks into his friend's frightened, aroused, ridiculously beautiful eyes and he tightens his arms, pulling Shatterstar down and kissing him deeply. And then he feels his heart turning over and the entire planet tilting off its axis and it takes him a minute to realize that they aren't under attack. 

 

Shatterstar might not know much about humans or human sexuality, but his physical instincts are impeccable. And so he clutches Rictor back, knowing, just as Rictor secretly always has, that this is safe and good and _right_. Rictor moans as 'Star's mouth opens up against his; that tiny bit of increased access suddenly making it clear that there is an endless amount of glorious possibilities opening up before them as well. He flicks his tongue against Shattestar's lips, tasting him and asking permission all at once, and then – finding no resistance – presses inside, grabbing huge fistfuls of 'Star's hair to keep him as close as possible as he does so. 

 

It's 'Star who breaks their embrace and a tiny part of Rictor's mind takes a moment to be proud that he manages not to whimper desperately at the loss. The rest of him is torn between making sure 'Star is okay and wanting that contact back. Luckily Shatterstar seems to be thinking the same way Rictor is; he leans down and presses his forehead against Rictor's, cupping Ric's face in his hands as he does so as if he also can't stand any reduction in contact. "This is good", Shatterstar says. Rictor can hear the certainty of his discovery in his voice. 'Star isn't asking a question; he's stating a fact. "This is right." 

 

"You're damn right it is." That's all Rictor manages to get out before their mouths meet again. Shatterstar is the one kissing _him_ this time, the one setting the pace and exploring Rictor's mouth with his tongue. It's almost too much. The only other person he's ever kissed that he truly cared about was Rahne, and she was shy and uncertain and never felt like she was entirely there even when he was holding her against him. But Shatterstar is wonderfully present. His hands clutch at Rictor's back and his hair falls around their faces as if to create a private space that blocks out the rest of the world. And Rictor would be happy as hell just to stay there forever, just kissing 'Star and stroking his skin and wondering why the fuck it took them so long to do this. 

 

"You want this." The lack of questioning is just as thrilling as it was before. "Julio, you _want_ this." 

 

 _"Si"_. Rictor can't deny it now and he wouldn't even if he could. "Yes. So much. And you?" 

 

Shatterstar simply nods. _"Te quiero"_ , he replies. And it's that simple phrase, with all its possible implications, that finally breaks Rictor. Because, in the middle of everything else going on, while dealing with all the other confusion and violence and pure unadulterated shit that makes up their daily lives, 'Star took the time and care to learn Ric's native language, and learn that particular phrase, just in case he ever needed it, and it's all just too good. So he kisses 'Star hard, again and again, as he slips his hand through the loose elastic at Shatterstar's waist, thanking a God he isn't even sure if he believes in anymore that they didn't bother to get properly dressed before they snuck out tonight. 

 

Shatterstar goes still and silent, a sudden statue, as Rictor's fingers close around his hard cock. It occurs to him that he is the very first person to get to touch Shatterstar like this. 'Star hasn't even met his own wife and Stecky may have put her hands where they had no business being but at least she kept them outside 'Star's clothes. Hell, 'Star himself may never have touched his own erect penis; Rictor remembers him outside that nightclub on that crazy night, saying that he hadn't even known his body could respond like this. He holds his hand still and lets Shatterstar get used to the sensation. "Is this okay?", Rictor asks, desperately willing the answer to be yes. _"¿Está bien, mi amor?"_

 

He hadn't planned on adding the _mi amor_ ; it had just slipped out without thought. But he's so glad it did, because the words seem to inspire something beautiful in 'Star. He moans out his approval to what Rictor most wants to be doing, a shuddery and captivated _si_ , and that's the most gorgeous fucking syllable that Ric has ever heard in his whole life. And maybe there _is_ a God, because Shatterstar says it again and again as Rictor strokes him and jerks him and does his damn best to show him just how good this whole bizarre and unexpected physical response can be. _"Si"_ , Shatterstar says, as Rictor's fingers explore the whole glorious length of him, amazed at how good it feels to touch him like this. And _"Si"_ again when Rictor stops for just a moment to spit on his palm and 'Star's momentary annoyance at the interruption melts away once he discovers how amazing lubrication feels. And _"Si, si, si"_ again and again against Rictor's lips, because Rictor cannot and will not stop kissing him. He never wants to stop. So he kisses 'Star's lips and neck and shoulders, every piece of bare skin that he can reach, whispering his declarations against Shatterstar's flesh: _"Te quiero." "Te deseo." "Te amo."_

 

He's flying high, riding on endorphins and lust and another emotion he's not quite ready to name in English but that he's pretty damn sure is driving him on. It's that feeling that's kept him with X-Force, and near Shatterstar, even as things seemed to be teetering ever closer to disaster. And it's the feeling that's making his heart thud painfully in his chest every time 'Star moans or sighs or whispers _si, Julio - si, mi amor_ into the dark and perfect night. Rictor's hooked on it; he can't imagine anything ever being better, until 'Star's own hand slides into Rictor's shorts and he realizes just how limited his own imagination has been up until now. 

 

It's not perfect, of course, far from it. Shatterstar has never even done this to himself, let alone to another person, and the angle is awkward with them both standing up and face to face. But Rictor isn't wishing for a bed or some lotion or anything else in the world. There will be time for all that later, all the time that either of them could possibly want. But right now Shatterstar is touching him, mapping him out and learning him, laying his wants and secrets and pleasures bare and it all feels so impossibly good. He's sweating like it's a battle and his knees are getting weak but his whole focus is on his groin and the fucking miracle that 'Star is somehow working there. There are sparks of pleasure and then waves of it, crashing through him and making him forget all about why the hell they waited so long to make this happen. Already, he can't remember why they haven't been doing this for months, because it's just so good, better than he ever imagined anything could be. And that's what 'Star _wants_. He wants to give Rictor pleasure, because he wants _Rictor_. Shatterstar wants him, and cares about him, and maybe, just maybe, even loves him. And that's the thought that pushes him over the edge, ripping the orgasm from him as he comes hard, screaming 'Star's name. 

 

As the lights explode behind his eyelids, he's aware of an answering cry from his new lover. And then they are both on the ground, breathing hard, sated but continuing to cling to each other as if they still need so much more. 

 

Shatterstar holds up his hand in wonder. It's sticky, covered in Rictor's semen. 'Star stares at it like it's one of the wonders of the world. "This came out of you." 

 

"Uh, yeah." Rictor blushes. He waves his own hand in air and then wipes it on the grass. "You too. It's normal." 

 

Shatterstar glances down at their stained crotches in surprise and then, like the predatory animal that he is, he's on his feet and running before Rictor even realizes that he's moved. Momentarily panicked, Rictor calls out to him to return but 'Star is already diving through the air into the river, slicing into the water as if he's one of his own swords cutting cleanly into enemy flesh. He surfaces, dripping wet and grinning, calling out to Rictor who is already running to join him. 

 

The cold water is a pleasant shock against his sweaty body, his rubbed-raw flesh. 'Star looks oddly smaller in the water, his hair clinging slickly to his neck and back, his eyes wide with delight at all the marvelous physical sensations he is discovering tonight. 

 

Rictor is reminded of the one summer that he got to spend with his uncle Alejandro, and his beautiful young wife. Some days, the the newly married couple would wake up before the sun rose and slip down to the pool to swim naked, laughing and splashing in the moonlight and totally unaware of the young boy watching them from his darkened bedroom window. Their lives had been dangerous as hell; Alejandro was in the same family business as Rictor's father and Cristiana came from a similar world. They'd both been dead before the next summer came, gunned down in a business deal that went wrong. But when Rictor thought of them, he didn't think about that. He remembered the love first, the joy that they had taken in each other in those stolen mornings. 

 

He kisses 'Star softly. "Let's go swimming a lot, okay? As much as possible?" 

 

Shatterstar nods. "Can we also do the other thing as much as possible? I liked that even better than the swimming." 

 

Rictor laughs out loud. "Absolutely", he promises. 

 

They return to the car before the sun comes up, but only just. The sky is already turning pink and gold in the east and Rictor can hear the traffic beginning to pick up on the highway. They'll need to get out of there soon or risk discovery, and Rictor doesn't exactly love the idea of explaining to a cop why he and another half-naked soaking-wet man without ID felt like taking a late-night drive. But he's weirdly hesitant to leave. "We could drive around for a bit", he suggests. "We could get breakfast." 

 

Shatterstar shakes his head. "We should get home. If the others find us missing, they'll worry about us." 

 

The others. Maybe that's why Rictor doesn't want to leave. He feels like he's done something incredible tonight, walked across a barrier between himself and his own happiness like it was never even there. But if he goes back to the X-Force base, there are a million other obstacles to bring him crashing down: a team that just isn't gelling, the fractured trust between himself and Cable that even the truth can't magically repair, problems with Reignfire's followers that won't go away just because Reignfire has, the absence of some people serving as a constant reminder of the possible absence of everyone else. "Should we?" Rictor asks. "I've got a full tank of gas. We can go anywhere you like." 

 

Shatterstar looks at him with curiosity. "I _want_ to go home, Julio." He places one hand over Rictor's and despite everything they've done tonight the touch just feels so innocent. "It's where we live. Together." 

 

And that with that, he somehow manages to sum up every reason why Rictor has stayed with X–Force so far. Because, yes. Home is where Rictor lives with Shatterstar, and right now that happens to be at X-Force headquarters. Someday, it might be in Mexico, or in Barcelona, or possibly on another planet. But if 'Star is there it will be his home, and he wants to be there too. 

 

He smiles softly and turns the key.


End file.
